Princess Papula’s Royal Decree by Carmelita Lee

 

I’m not sure I’d like the hassle

That went with living in a castle

Cause you know, no elevators,

Large, deep moats and alligators,

getting lost in passageways,

and finding ghosts in galleyways

cold and drafty, unlit rooms

and boring, wasted afternoons

speaking Latin with buffoons

embroid’ring tapestry on looms,

wear the same dress every day

sleep on pillows stuffed with hay

peein’ in a chamber pot

in a place that time forgot

then marrying an inbred prince

who’ll get my whole inheritance?

 

Nah.

 

I just want a ranch-style place,

central heating, private space,

three up, two down, and ceiling fans,

and entertainment on demand,

a pool out back and hot tub too,

screened patio and barbecue,

no staff, no guards, no big intrigue

no protocol, just Little League

a comfy office where I can work

and first names with the postal clerk,

a pickup truck in my garage

standing appointment for massage

and internet with video cams

and being caught in traffic jams

gimme five-star comforts all the way

that’s all this princess wants to say

oh, and I chose the man I married

and he’ll get to pay until I’m buried …

 

the only place I’ll be a queen

is in the house I have to clean

the only crown I’ll ever wear,

the dandelions in my hair.

 

Doon Castle , June 2006